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Jose Canseco's Finger
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Everything this former MLB slugger tweets about is amazing.

Jose Canseco
For example they left out details like I was trying to clean 4 guns at the same time and no one should attempt that
Jose Canseco
Ok well I might as well tell you .I was playing in a poker tournament last night and my finger fell off .someone took a video of it.
Jose Canseco
My finger should have been amputated from the beginning. It was very loose with no bone to connect it.it was also smelling really bad.
Jose Canseco
maybe I will make it a package the chrome 45 caliber Remington with the finger both for sale a package deal

Yes, no one should attempt that!

Another gem:

Jose Canseco
This Ebola outbreak is getting worrisome. Check your fevers.
Course clear! You got a card.
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#HillbillyDX
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his finger fell the f*** off? that's

sort of disturbing, actually

and i've been keeping an eye on my fever ever since i started at amazon. if it gets out of check, i'll know that the ebola outbreak has spread to my facility, i suppose
Friendly Dictator
So what can be superior when compared with paying out half the price for brand name children?
wow, if brand name children are on sale, maybe i can stop buying all these cheap knockoff children

Bibby
OK... even I'll admit that the Oakland Raiders' performance might be a valid reason to use the interesting words.

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